|For My Darling
Today is Valentines day! The day that celebrates the "Friendship, Love and Romance" that exists between two people.
Today is the day that will either bring us closer together, or take us farther apart.
Today is the day that will be remembered with fondness as the years pass by, OR
Today is the day that will end the companionship and love that we both once shared.
You already know how much "You" mean to me. So, my feelings require no further explanation.
Today you told me while I drove you to work, that you have no answer for me. You don't know what to do. You explained... "there are so many other problems you are concerned about." My response was then, and still is now... "we can over come all those problems, together, or handle them alone."
As in the beginning, I know in my heart and in my head that we should be together. But... now it is time for you to finally decide, how you choose to continue through life.
I feel that you want me to make the decision to end it. But my dear Simone, I need closure. I need to hear it from your sweet lips.
Today you may not have anyone else in your head, but I believe you did, and the ache of that resides deep within me. I can over come my feelings of abandonment if you remain in my life, but it will be difficult for me to move on, knowing you are no longer my wife.
I feel there are demons that reside deep within you my sweet, that have been there long before we met. Demons, that I can not exorcise, without your help. I certainly acknowledge my complicity in the loneliness you have felt, but nothing has occurred in this relationship that cannot be overcome. Unless there is something, I simply do not know.
They say that"Love Hurts!" It does. The hurt I feel today is as though an arrow has been shot into my heart. Rightly or wrongly, I believe that deep within you, there still remains an ember of love and passion, and that you still care for me. Wishful thinking? Perhaps! Still, I'm convinced the connection remains in your heart, locked away securely.
The pain associated with knowing that tonight may be the last night you ever share my bed is difficult to bear. Can this old dragon of a man, burn through that vault that contains the heart of the woman he loves? The decision to allow me to hold it tenderly in my hands again, now resides with you, and you alone.
Revitalize our life together by remaining my wife, and my best friend. It won't be easy, but it can be done. I have no magic wand to start with, just my for love you!
I'm sorry for the feelings of distress and loneliness you too have felt.
As difficult as it is to understand, given all that has transpired in our relationship, I have always had your best interests at heart. I sincerely wish you nothing but the peace and happiness you seek!
It's said... "Measure life not be the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away!" Know, even at this moment of what I feel might be immense loss, that I am so fortunate to have experienced so many moments with you that so completely took my breath away:
The look of you, the touch of you, the feel of you, making love with you. Those memories will always reside within me.
In closing, let me say for what may be the very last time...
I Want You! I Need You, You Sweet Creature You! I LOVE YOU!
Valentines Day February 14, 2006